Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A small poet in contempt serves up a sonnet ala the Heart Attack Grill

Riding shot-gun in my daddy’s yellow Matador

We rolled into the desert sun

Lost in the dream of my fourth-grade crush back home

On a long stretch of bumpy road my hard-on got-off

a sharp turn as we exited this world off Chandler

Holy shit! Big girls with big tits bending over as they poured our Jolts

Just what the nurse ordered and exactly what I wanted with my Flatliner Fries

I ordered my demise and urgently took an exploration

deep in the bowels to clean-up seven clays

I got aroused and had trouble pissing while reading the urinal’s medical disclaimer

Later that night I masturbated about our nurse at the Heart Attack Grill

Backward and forward again now with my own boy

We pull over from that bumpy Chandler drive

for some fond memories and tradition

You can bring your kids to the Heart Attack Grill too.

And for the love of god, PeTA jumps on the sexy nurse sells food bandwagon with their naughty nurse routine.

"Bakersfield, Calif. -- Wearing a stethoscope and a sexy nurse outfit (complete with a white minidress, knee-high stockings, and spiked heels), carrying a notepad to write prescriptions for a vegetarian diet, and holding a sign that reads, "Bypass Heart Surgery--Go Vegan," a PETA beauty will greet patients and passersby outside Mercy Hospital in Bakersfield on Wednesday. The naughty Nightingale's point? That the best way to make sure that the hospital isn't bulging at the seams with heart patients is for consumers to chuck meat and other heart-unfriendly animal products from their diets and go vegan.

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  1. Brilliant Dave.

    Just like every good predator, the Heart Attack Grill knows exactly how to capitalize on sex: The pleasure & excitement of a young man's sexuality inextricably linked to the Heart Attack Grill and corpse-munching in perpetuity...

    The happy-holocaust degenerates will stop at nothing to reach youth... whether it's with McDonald's happy meals providing a toy... or the Heart Attack Grill's offering up a fantasy... the holocaust will continue unimpeded if vegans do not intercede (and learn how to play dirty) and reach youth.

    And your insight into the insidious consequences of our sex-sells instant-gratification culture cannot be lost on vegans: The enemy has no problem playing dirty, targeting kids, and, indeed, contributing to the mindless cycle of "hereditary ignorance".

  2. Yes, this Heart Attack grill is really blasphemous... totally vulgar - on so many levels.

  3. Damned nice to finally find a place worth eating out at...