Corpse-munching Michelle Obama defines treats and Christmas to impressionable children … just sit back and drool ... beg

Pictured at left, corpse-muncher fondling chicken corpse parts for one of her White House Garden Harvest Party recipes.

White House Kitchen Garden Baked Chicken

For the victim:

1 freshly murdered chicken - cut corpse into pieces

1 cup flour

1 cup bread crumbs

2 avian menstruations - beaten

Salt and pepper

Method:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Wash and pat chicken corpse parts dry. Lightly sprinkle salt and pepper on all sides of the chicken corpse parts. Place flour, avian menstruations, and bread crumbs in three separate bowls. Place chicken corpse parts in bowl of flour and cover completely, knock off excess flour. Dip chicken corpse parts in avian menstruations, covering completely. Finally, roll avian menstuation covered chicken corpse parts in bread crumbs and cover completely. Place on baking dish and put in oven for approximately 40 minutes until juices run clear. Stick meat thermometer in and make sure the internal temperature of the largest piece of chicken corpse is at 180 degrees.

Children only hear tidbits and pieces they feel are important. What do they walk away with? The idea that eating out is something to beg for and a luxurious thrilling special occasion like Christmas and that desserts are a special treat. Get plenty of exercise and eat well. No mention of abstaining from pus, blood, and other way nasty secretions, avian menstruations, tumor feedstuffs, bovine growth hormones, Mad Cow, E-coli burgers, Smithfield’s Swine Flu Virus, or any other bizarre disease resulting from eating animal products.

Did top-level officials tell the children to say, “lettuce” instead of “chicken?”

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the First Lady

For Immediate Release
June 16, 2009

REMARKS BY THE FIRST LADY
AT

THE WHITE HOUSE GARDEN HARVEST PARTY

First Lady's Garden

4:30 P.M. EDT

MRS. OBAMA: Hey, guys.

CHILDREN: Hi.

MR. KASS: Oh, hi.

MRS. OBAMA: Yes, yes, oh hi. Hi back. (Laughter.) Well, welcome back.

CHILDREN: Thank you.

MRS. OBAMA: Here we are. So what did you guys do at your stations? What did you do?

CHILD: I went in the garden first and then I went to cut lettuce, and then when I was finished I went into the kitchen and that's where I cooked the lettuce -- I mean -- (laughter) -- chicken.

MRS. OBAMA: You cooked some chicken? So we have some chicken cookers. We had some what? What did you do, sweetie?

So you guys, I want to thank you. I'm just going to say a few words to our guests in the back who will not get to eat anything. You will just sit and drool. But we'll describe it to you.

When I was growing up, fast food was a rarity. It wasn't something you did every day. It was a special treat, and we would beg to get it, and it was exciting if we drove into a fast food place and got a hamburger. We were thrilled. It was like Christmas!

Desserts were for special occasions. We didn't get dessert every night. And we didn't have dessert several times a day. Eating out was a luxury because at least in my family we couldn't afford it. If we got pizza on a Friday night, that was a treat.

And sitting around the dinner table as a family was something that we did all the time.

So how did we get here? How did we get in this position where we have become such an unhealthy nation, and our children are at risk? And the fact is there are a lot of factors, but some of the more simple ones are that too many kids are consuming high-calorie food with low nutritional value, and they're not getting enough exercise. It's plain and simple: They're not eating right and they're not moving their bodies at all.

Like adults, kids have a very simple approach to food. What do you guys like about food? If it tastes good, right?

CHILDREN: Yes.

MRS. OBAMA: If it tastes good, you'll eat it, right? You don't care what it is!

CHILDREN: Yes.

MRS. OBAMA: Government also has a role to play in this, as well. For so many kids, subsidized breakfasts and lunches are their primary meals of the day. It's what they count on. It's where they get most of their nutrition.

And the USDA's National School Lunch Program serves approximately 30 million meals each year to low-income children. And because these meals are the main source of consistent nourishment for these kids, we need to make sure we offer them the healthiest meals possible.

You are terrific young people. You are all smart. I love your hugs. I love your smiles. I love the reports that you did for me. You guys are terrific. You're very blessed, and you should be very proud of yourselves, and continue to work hard.

CHILDREN: Yes.

MRS. OBAMA: All right, guys. Well, let's eat! (Applause.)

And the happy little fifth-grade chicken cookers commenced feeding their corpse-holes.



"If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny" Thomas Jefferson 1778