Friday, April 17, 2009

Obama's shameless obsession with misery and death

At an Italian Market, Obama publicly munched on pig corpses and moldy tumor-feed and laughed it off quantifying the experience in monetary terms.

Obama scavenged through moldy creations before deciding to munch on provolone moldy blood and innards. "I'm thinking I need some cold cuts," the corpse-muncher announced as he nibbled on the cancerous products of misery and further explained, "The fresh mozzarella sounds good. But I want to try the salami." Obama then lowered a thin slice of death in his ever-hungry corpse-hole and announced to the world, "Good stuff!"

Robber-of-life shop-owner Sal Auriemma packaged a quarter pound of salami imported from France made of horsemeat and a fired ricotta miserable nightmare---which Obama shamelessly likens to pound cake---and provolone and mozzarella crimes against humanity.

Corpse-munching hit-man Auriemma refused to let Obama pay, but the blood-sucking tyrant insisted taking responsibility at every level for his shameful public disconnect from humanity and proudly forked over $20.

The scavenger’s next haunt was Di Bruno Bros., a trendier corpse and moldy-innards hell-hole. Obama munched on asiago and Birchrun Blue crimes and other blue moldy creations and proclaimed, "That's good stuff!” Then the corpse-munching Obama beckoned for more misery, “What else you got for me?"

Ezekial Ferguson dangled a slice of pata negra, (a pig corpse from Spain) and explained that the butchered beasts have only recently been legalized in the United States. "What do you mean just legalized? It's so good it's like a drug or something?" Obama queried. Ferguson bantered back, "Pretty much, yeah, just wait"

Ferguson boasted that the butchered corpse came from a black-hoofed Iberico wild pig that wandered around eating acorns, "which turn into delicious fat in its muscle tissue and also makes it really healthy for you." That drew a chuckle from all. Obama quickly quipped back, "All I know is it tastes good! That was delicious!"

Apparently the conditions for aging pata negra were not up to snuff with the USDA until very recently. Pretty sad state of affairs that our lax USDA wouldn’t even allow pata negra corpses into the country because of the nasty conditions of the moldy pus and innards factories abroad (the USDA can't even keep up with our own USA inspections). A producer in Spain somehow coughed-up enough money for a license to import it now.

"That fellow's only $99.99 a pound," Ferguson announced. Obama then calculated his complicity, "So I ate a dollar's worth."

Obama gets an A+ in math and an F- in humanity.

After grabbing the last quarter pound of "Shellbark Shark" moldy purebred Nubian goat stolen secretions, Obama---finally full of himself---departed with an extra bag of evil for later.

Simultaneously Published on Thomas Paine's Corner

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  1. We as vegans knew he was an insensitive meat eater when we voted for him. He was the lesser of several evils. We didn't want Hillary who wore fur, Palin who hunted wolves.

    Our efforts now should be in convincing Obama that Meat is ruining our economy. As our government owes 12 trillion, there will be less excuses for politicians supporting expensive subsidies. This is a great time to expose this.

    Daniel Manahan

  2. Come on man!Do you wanna changes? Go vegan, and be happy!!Meat industry is destroying the world, and you can do it... if I can.. you can, we are all the same, animals and humans diferent but equal

    Ivan de Castres

  3. Obama knows that flesh production is among the greatest contributors to global warming; he understands the implications for world hunger; he understands the miserable lives and horrific deaths non-humans are subjected to to harvest their corpses; he doesn't care.

    Same old dynasty with a shiny new figurehead.

    There's only one political party -- soulless capitalist money whores.

  4. I think that's a good point; that's why I'm not comfortable with ridiculing "corpse-munchers" and "pus-chuggers." Society currently accepts murder and butchering of animals, as long as it's traditionally done and the body parts are eaten and/or worn.

    Most meat-eaters will not accept being ridiculed to death, and in fact flattery is often the only way to change their position. Also, since their cannibal-like practice is one they've usually had for most of their lives, they're likely to be very defensive about it. I only see your offensive stance as being accepted by converts like us.

  5. So are you're saying that because "they will not accept being ridiculed to death," vegans should adjust their behavior and play by their rules... and be nice?

    You can explain confinement, rape, mutilation & murder to an apathetic corpse-eating slob; they don't care. They deserve no consideration. They pay for the perpetual holocaust to continue. Their actions are infinitely more disgusting and offensive than any word a vegan can utter.

    They are the enemy. We shouldn't fraternize with the enemy. We certainly don't need to be catering to their warped arrogant selfish egos.