Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ronald "Corpse-munching" McDonald fesses-up ...

Dear Concerned Citizen,

For almost two years I went against everything I ever believed in by selling out to the McDonald's corporate juggernaut by playing RONALD McDONALD to thousands of innocent, trusting children.

Prior to that, I am sorry to say, I also portrayed THE MARVELLOUS MAGICAL BURGER KING in the Northeastern United States doing a children's magic show promoting the glories of meat eating for the Burger King Corporation.

Ten years later, I now realize I have a debt to parents and children everywhere to try and present the truth about the wonderful vegetarian lifestyle to which I owe so much. Toward that end I have developed a brand new show to gently educate kids about their true relationship to the environment, their animal friends, and each other, as neighbours on a dreadfully victimized over-burdened planet.

This show (complete with music, magic and fun) is my way of saying sorry for selling out so blatantly to concerns who make their millions off the murder of countless animals and the exploitation of children for their own ends. Although moderate expenses are expected from sponsors, this is a not-for-profit scheme centered on showing young people the peaceful alternatives of the natural, healthful, vegetarian way of life.

Peace & Love,

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